Manitoba Premier Declares "Climate Emergency" Ahead of Fall Election

Posted by Ken Hiebert on Sunday, August 18, 2019 Under: News...

In what is sure to become the most aggressive campaign promise to date, Premier Brian Pallister has declared war on Manitoba's ruthless winter weather. In a hastily prepared press conference last Thursday, Pallister stated that by, "declaring a climate emergency, Winnipeg City Council is recognizing the magnitude of the challenge we face in surviving climate change."
The Premier unveiled his plan to fight Winter at City Hall amid the 29° heat that's become all too prevalent this summer. 

According to Pallister, "The first step in solving any problem is to name it."  That's why he's set the very ambitious goal of raising Winnipeg's average winter temperature by 13°C. 

He pointed out that climate change is real, and the poorest and most vulnerable people are being affected the most.  This is especially true in a city like Winnipeg (aka "Winterpeg") where, according to the province's chief medical examiner's annual reports, 146 people died from exposure from 2004 to 2014 in Manitoba and most - if not all - were in Winnipeg.

In most cases, these types of declarations are non-binding, but supporters say their greatest utility is that they instill a sense of urgency and represent a new way of thinking about the problem.

Pallister asserts that though it may seem like an ambitious goal, "we are an ambitious people".  

According to the city, plans are already in the works to provide 24 hour bonfires at strategic locations throughout the city where the homeless can gather to keep warm.  These fires will also heat the surrounding air and add the much needed carbon component that will allow the city to soak up and store the coveted warmth from the sun's rays.  A source from City Hall says there will also be plenty of hotdogs on hand (vegan options in some locations) with a limited number of wiener-roasting sticks available.

With a transit strike looming in the next month, this would be a perfect time to warm up those old vehicles you may have stored for the winter and get them out in the streets. 

With Winnipeg already known as the Slurpee capital of Canada during the summer months, perhaps there's hope for it to also become the Hot Dog capital during the winter.  If each of us do our part, there's no reason we can't make Winterpeg into "Wienerpeg".

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I'm a guitar instructor in a small town. I love teaching and I love playing music. I also love doing things that have nothing to do with music... or teaching... or teaching music.